Marriage and
Finances: What to Do Before You Say "I Do"
When my husband and I got married, we were a bit
surprised to find out just how much combined debt we
each had. We had been dating for almost five years before
we got married. We had kind of discussed finances and
how we would do things but in all honesty; we had discussed
the wedding budget and the finances of that big event
a lot more than we discussed the finances of our other
big event, namely the rest of our lives together!
Money and money management (or the lack thereof) is
the biggest source of arguments and stress in a marriage
(and the number one reason for divorces). Of course,
there are two sides to every issue and it falls to both
partners in a relationship to seek answers and information
in regards to their future spouse's finances. A person
who puts their head in the sand is as guilty as the
person who didn't disclose information in the first
place. Here are a few things to work out before you
walk down the aisle;
Full disclosure. Surprising
your new spouse with your debt load AFTER the wedding
ceremony is unfair and can lead to hard feelings which
will undoubtedly lead to arguments. Don't forget that
NOT asking about your future spouse's finances makes
your just as responsible. Sit down and share everything!
Credit score. I
recently heard a statement about your credit score.
"Your credit score is your adult report card. It
tells everyone how you manage your finances and possibly
your life." Credit scores are now reviewed by potential
employers, insurance companies, lenders, cell phone
companies (before they give you a contract) and utility
suppliers. A bad credit score will mean you're paying
more for auto insurance, loans (if you can get one at
all) and possibly stuck in a lousy job. Love doesn't
necessarily conquer all, especially when it comes to
money! Both of you need to share your credit scores
with each other and understand what ramifications a
bad score will have on your financial relationship and
future plans.
Discuss
who is going to handle paying the bills.
Finding out three months into your marriage, when the
electricity is turned off, that both of you thought
the other was paying the bills (because you both hate
doing it) isn't a good way to start your relationship
together. This does NOT mean that if your spouse will
handle the bill paying that you can walk away and be
in the dark! Both of you need to be fully aware of ALL
the bills and everything that is coming into the household
and everything going out. On the flip side, be aware
of a spouse who wants complete control and doesn't want
you to "worry about a thing." There are many
couples who end up in bad situations because one person
keeps financial secrets from the other (and managed
to do it because they handled and controlled all the
bills).
Talk about your financial philosophies.
Marriage counselors will tell you not to marry someone
expecting to change them. In addition, opposites may
attract in many ways but when it comes to finances,
that isn't generally true. A married hardcore saver
and hardcore spender will quickly realize that they've
got serious issues.
Discuss financial goals. Talk
about where both of you want to be, financially, in
10, 20 or 30 years. This can tie in with your financial
philosophies as well. Talk about how you think you might
accomplish those goals, too. Finding out that your spouse
wants to retire early and thinks the best way to accomplish
this is to never buy a house or have kids AND have you
work two jobs might not sit well with you. Best you
know this now!
In the end, it's not impossible for two people with
different views to come together and find common ground
as far as finances are concerned. It can take compromise
on both sides of the financial issues. One party can't
be forced or tricked into compromise either. If you
feel that finances WILL be an issue then you should
consider counseling or worse case, reconsider the marriage.
The financial situation won't be any better if you have
to spend thousands dissolving a marriage.
Other articles by Tammy:
Save Money on Your Grocery
Bills
Feeling Rich When Your Savings
Account Says Otherwise
Contact Information:
Tammy Paquin
www.frugal-families.com
.
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